Books That Changed My Life #1: Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

“You're both the fire and the water that extinguishes it. You're the narrator, the protagonist, and the sidekick. You're the storyteller and the story told. You are somebody's something, but you are also your you.”― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

As Aza grapples with solving a mystery for an old friend, she simultaneously battles her panic spirals and inner demons that threaten to overwhelm her. 

As someone who has suffered with anxiety all of my life, this was one of the first books I’d read where I could fully empathize with the inner feelings of a character. Reading this brought me back to my 12-year-old-John Green-obsession (where unrealistic teenage intellectual banter shaped my idea of high school) and made me grow up.

I finally felt like I had reached the age of these characters that little me™️ had once only dreamed of. These feelings of such intense emotion and internal battles are not just literary tropes, they’re real life, they’re part of me. Aza and Fran, Fran and Aza. We all suffer and cry, interrupting dates in lush fields after counting stars because our brains won't settle down. But we can rise too. This book opened my mind to the powers of hope, and the importance of focusing on what we can handle. Green speaks directly to me, for he must know my inner thoughts. This novel strikes a deep chord within. 

We can't control the picture, but we can control the frame. 

TATWD is arguably less typical of John Green’s manic pixie girl narratives, yet still offers a relatable glimpse into the loud, complex minds of his characters. I’m never disappointed by his writing, and this novel is no different.